At this busy time
in my life, I’m starting to realize the true importance of friendship even
though I have never had less time to devote to it. My closest group of friends
are three women who I’ve known since I was six years old. We’re fortunate
enough to have weathered many storms together, even though we’ve been
physically separated for over 20 years. After we left our beloved Catholic K-8
school, we all attended different high schools and colleges. I moved away from
my hometown in New York to permanently settle here in suburban Boston. Another
woman in our group moved to Pennsylvania. Yet thanks to modern technology and
social media, we’ve kept in touch and are closer than ever as support one
another on the journey of motherhood.
My best friends
have taught me that I need three things to make friendships last through
adulthood: laughter, forgiveness, and support. The mysterious balancing act of
balancing work, motherhood, and being a wife and daughter can be overwhelming.
Laughing our way through the difficult things with my friends is the only thing
that keeps me from running away at times. Whenever we get together or talk on
the phone, tears are guaranteed, not because we are crying but because we make
each other laugh until we cry. Laughter truly is the best medicine and the
world feels right again once I’ve been laughing with my friends.
My second key
friendship value is forgiveness. Life is moving very quickly for me these days.
In a rush of school drop-off, activities, working, weekend plans, cooking,
tidying, and the occasional date night or two, I know I often neglect
relationships outside of my family. I need my friends to forgive me for
forgetting to call them back or not sending a thank-you note. I don’t make enough effort to drive down to
my hometown to see my friends now that my parents aren’t living there
anymore. I’m probably going to let you
down if you have rigid social expectations, not because I’m rude or don’t care
but because I am usually exhausted and often forgetful. Luckily, my best
friends are right there with me in the struggle and never judge me if I have to
postpone our phone chats because I’m dealing with a sick kid or a homeowner
crisis.
Finally, I need
my adult friends to be supportive. Our
adolescent days of talking uninterrupted on the phone might be over, but I
always have time to shoot my friends a quick text or Facebook message. We have a Facebook group that’s our safe
space to vent about our husbands and work, worry about our kids (as well as
show them off) and share whatever is going on in our lives. That support is my
lifeline through everyday ups and downs and it keeps our friendship current and
accessible in a busy world.
Reading picture
books aloud is one of the great joys of being a children’s librarian. Some of
my favorites are those that focus on friendship. Not the overly saccharine texts that feature
perfectly behaved people (or animals) but the real ones that show how mutual
regard and affection can sustain two people (or animals) through life’s
imperfections. Often, friendships in picture books have an “odd couple” quality
that only adds to their charm.
The brilliance of
George and Martha by James Marshall has set the standard for portraying
friendship in picture books. These two delightful hippopotamuses are best
friends who know each other through and through. George isn’t the most clever
hippo and Martha often outsmarts him but he’s also joyful and supportive. He
does frequently snoop through Martha’s things but she always forgives him.
Martha can be a diva but she’s always a good sport. She can be ill-tempered but
is quick to get over an argument. Nothing much ever happens in their stories
but somehow James Marshall’s understated text and illustrations create their
profound friendship. Other delightful George and Martha books include George
and Martha : One Fine Day, George and Martha : Rise and Shine, and George and
Martha: Back in Town.
Arnold Lobel
created the classic Frog and Toad series, stories that show the everyday dramas
and misadventures of America’s most famous amphibians. These two friends also
have their ups and downs but are only really content when they are together.
They often miss each other and wonder what the other is doing when apart..
Neither of them are perfect though. Toad can be a little lazy and is
self-conscious about how he looks in a bathing suit. Frog loves pulling pranks and loves horror
stories even more. But each appreciates the other for who he really is and
their stories teach children to value individuality over sameness in a
relationship. Frog and Toad’s adventures
are featured in Days with Frog and Toad, Frog and Toad Are Friend, Frog and
Toad Together and Frog and Toad All Year.
Both George and
Martha and Frog and Toad were written in the 1970s. No other picture book duo
approached classic friendship status until Mo Willems created Elephant and
Piggie. In Today I Will Fly, we are introduced to Gerald, a lovable but
slightly neurotic elephant prone to meltdowns, and Piggie, a carefree, laid
back pig with a playful side.. My best friend, who is also a children’s
librarian, declares that there are two types of people in this world: Geralds
or Piggies. Willems clearly casts the pair as an odd couple with Gerald as a
Type A rule follower and Piggie, who is cheerfully free and easy.. It goes
without saying that my friend and I are clearly Geralds. Gerald and Piggie solve all sorts of
friendship problems like sharing issues, not liking your best friend’s favorite
food, and what to do when the weather doesn’t cooperate with your plans. More
riveting adventures can be found in all 25 volumes in the series.
These picture
books reflect the complexities and wonderful realities of friendship. Our
friends sustain us not only as we face the trials and tribulations of life but
also during the everyday mundane details of living. The friends in these books
hold up the ideal qualities of friendship while being imperfect animals. They
accept and love their friends even when they aren’t their best selves. And that
is the most enduring and satisfying thing about friendship in childhood and in
adult life.
